Burn

I am going to be a dad... a father! Still can't believe....Something i always wanted, feels funny now. It doesn't feel. Do i really want it? What does it matter now? What is done is done. Nobody can undo the past, one can only hope the future can mend it. As the birth day comes closer, it's hard to feel anything... I know i will be forever the outcast of it all to some people.Fuck them! "If i could i would do it different". Wow what a unsensitive prick i am right? Fuck you! Yes, i guess i will have a child sometime this month or the next. I will be her father no matter what, so what the fuck do i stand trial for? If it is for not being with the mother... Yes, find me guilty. I do not agree with the way she lives, or she thinks... even if i tried really hard, i could not find a person who differs more from what i am. You see i was numb, cause my best friend had left me, and with her she took my lover, my wife, the mother of my children... Why did you do it, you ask... I don't know... There was something about it, something i don't remember. And yes, i've been away from it, but only i know that i think about it everyday, and still i can't even start to understand what is like expecting a child of your own.

Listening to Depeche mode - Behind the wheel; Barrel of a gun; People are people & Walking in my shoes